


aftershocks

by ronanlynchisneversleepingagain



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bedsharing, Blow Jobs, First Time, Fix-It, Frottage, Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Not Epilogue Compliant, Season 8 Spoilers, Shiro finally gets to save Keith, Shiro leaves the Galaxy Garrison to finally be the space explorer of his dreams, as in....i take all of S8 but just completely ignore the epilogue, brief captivity by hostile parties, keith....has so many emotions someone help him, lots of unexpressed feelings finally get their day in the sun, major character death at end of s8 still happens, the paladins are separated but all eventually come back together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-03 07:36:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17279789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronanlynchisneversleepingagain/pseuds/ronanlynchisneversleepingagain
Summary: Some days, Keith wakes up wondering if he's in the wrong reality after all, but he knows the truth of it is that things went bad long before Honerva ripped the universe to shreds and Allura wove it back together. Things were bad before they even left Earth on the Atlas.





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nightswatch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightswatch/gifts).



> read the tags, but the gist of it is that this fic will mostly honor S8 (as tragic and bad as it was), EXCEPT the epilogue which has been burned and purged from the author's memory. this fic is basically an alternative epilogue that seeks to address some hanging threads from S8, in particular the deterioration of Keith & Shiro's friendship and what they can do to put it back together.

_ Help, I lost myself again _

_ But I remember you _

_ Don't come back, it won't end well _

_ But I wish you'd tell me too _

 

—

 

Some days, Keith wakes up wondering if he is in the wrong reality after all. Wisely, he keeps his mouth shut about it. He's not sure anyone else would have much reason to agree with him. 

Except maybe Lance. 

Most days though, he doesn't have time to lay in bed thinking about all the ways he fucked up. He's been pulled into the task of state-building with the rest of the Blade of Marmora, although he prefers the behind-the-scenes work considerably more than the actual leadership responsibilities. It’s a lonely experience, even with his mother and the other Blades around. His fellow paladins, his team, has scattered to all corners of the universe since the end of the war and he misses them more than he likes to admit.

When Coran calls with an invitation to Altea for a one year memorial for Allura, Keith feels a wave of relief. He has been back to Earth only twice since leaving to take on his new, expanded role with the Blades and to Altea only once and he hadn’t yet managed to be in the same room as everyone at the same time since the Atlas had been decommissioned. 

"It will be good for you to see your friends again," Krolia says with a smirk when he tells her. 

Keith huffs a bit, but doesn't disagree. As much as he had felt out of place on Earth, the feeling of otherness is somehow even more intense amongst the Galra, who were naturally closed off to other races and looked upon half-blooded Galrans with contempt. Winning or losing the war did little to fight the centuries old blood prejudice. 

"Are you sure I can be gone for so long?" Keith asks instead. "Getting to Altea in the Black Lion will take a week, at least, and the ceremonies and stuff will probably drag on for a while."

Krolia clasps his shoulder gently and looks down at him.

"Keith," she says seriously. "It takes the time it takes. Your team needs you to be there and besides, you haven't taken a real break in a while. Not everything has to be about work."

Keith snorts.

"Yeah, you're really one to talk," he says.

Krolia not-so-gently smacks him upside the head and he ducks too late to miss it. 

"Have you talked to Shiro? Will he go as well?"

Keith knows he makes a face because Krolia raises an eyebrow at him.

"You should talk with him while you're on Altea," Krolia says, her voice dropping to the motherly prod that Keith tries hard not to resent. 

"We'll see," Keith grunts.

The last time Keith had spoken to Shiro was when the Atlas had been decommissioned on a quiet Thursday afternoon. The war had been over for months and Earth was looking to funnel resources and manpower into humanitarian efforts and further exploration, so the giant warship was put to rest and its crew dispersed to the winds. Keith was there only by coincidence, really. Shiro had barely given him a glance the whole week and only as he was leaving did he speak directly to Keith. It had hurt more than it should have at that point. Keith had been with the Blades since the Atlas returned to Earth months before - restless and in need of purpose, as always. The other paladins had tried to make him stay, pulling him into their sprawling family dinners and parties, but the only person who ever had any real sway over Keith was Shiro and Shiro…well. 

Things had been bad between them before the Atlas ever even left Earth - it was no real surprise that they hadn't managed to fix whatever had broken before Keith left. Keith is no longer sure there's even anything to fix.

Kolivan is less eager for Keith to leave, but doesn't protest. He gives Keith orders to map out a galaxy that is three jumps away from Altea instead and Keith grumbles about it, but takes the assignment all the same. The truth is, he likes the solo assignments more than his normal Blade deployments these days, which are all about diplomacy amongst Galran factions and other races and planets. Although the Blade of Marmora has tried hard to repair the Galra's image in the universe, there are many years ahead of distrust and outright hostility for the Galra among most corners of the universe. At least when Keith is traveling alone, he can lean on his status as the Black Paladin and half-human to lessen the outright hostility many races would have towards a member of the Blades otherwise.

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Lance is on hand to greet Keith when the Black Lion touches down on Altea. It's a relief that he's alone for now - that means the other Paladins haven't yet arrived and Keith won't be bombarded all at once - but it's even more of a relief to see Lance's familiar grin. When Keith hugs him one-armed, Lance squeezes back and laughs a little.

"Never thought I'd say it, but I missed you, man," Lance says. 

Keith shoves him, but smiles back. They talk fairly regularly and Keith had seen more of Lance than the other Paladins since they'd parted ways.

"Surprised I beat everyone," Keith says as they head inside together. 

Lance waves him off, walking a bit ahead.

"Pidge ran into some problem with her mumbo-jumbo code stuff she's working on for the Garrison and insisted on staying until it was sorted out, which meant that Hunk and Shiro insisted that they wait for her and well, you know how it goes. They should be here any day now though."

Keith absorbs that information with a grunt.

"I figured Shiro'd be too busy to come," Keith says, mostly to himself. He kicks at the loose dirt under his boots. Lance is strangely silent beside him and when Keith looks up, Lance has his head cocked to the side and Keith can almost see the gears turning inside. 

"So…I'm guessing you don't know?" Lance asks finally. 

"Know what?" 

"Huh, never thought I'd live to see the day when I knew something about Shiro before you did," Lance says. "This means I'm finally moving up the friend depth chart."

"Lance," Keith says impatiently. "Know what?"

"Shiro resigned his commission," Lance says with a dramatic flourish, clearly relishing his relative position of power. "Like, two or three months ago now. Honestly, I can't believe you didn't know. I figured you'd be the first one to know, not the last. Maybe he wanted to tell you in person or something."

Keith grunts noncommittally. He doesn't want to admit that Shiro hasn't told him much of anything beyond direct orders in almost two years. His mind is spinning, trying to make sense of what that means for Shiro.  _ Resigned his commission. Why? _

Keith doesn't ask Lance, instead changes the subject to the maintenance of their Lions - always a safe subject. He needles Lance about the Red Lion, which is enough to set Lance off on a long rant that sufficiently distracts him. Keith listens with one ear, while running the words  _ Shiro resigned his commission _ over and over in his head. He wants to ask more about it, but Lance is the wrong person to ask. He would crow over it for years and Keith was in no mood to deal with it. 

Instead, he lets Lance talk himself out on the subject of the Lions and the new ship that Coran has been building with help from Hunk who has been visiting regularly. Lance is not so much helping with the build as he is just hanging out while Coran and the other Alteans build it, Keith gathers, but no one seems all that bothered by it.

Later, after Coran has insisted on a thorough walk-through of both the Black Lion and Keith's life, Keith finds himself alone with Lance again, drinking the last of some Altean liquor that was leftover from dinner. Whatever it is, it is a huge step up from the nunvill Coran was usually peddling, but Keith is already feeling a little fuzzy around the edges as he sips on his share.

"So, what are you really doing up here?" Keith asks finally.

Lance doesn't seem surprised by the question, but instead of answering, he grabs a rock from the ground and slings it lazily into the air ahead of them. Keith watches it fall in a graceful arch.

"The Lance I know couldn't wait to get back to Earth and spend time with his family," Keith says gently. 

"Yeah, well," Lance says and for a just a moment, he is the same petulant teenager he was when Keith first met him, but then the pout disappears into a frown. "I don't see you back on Earth."

Keith snorts. 

"Not much of anything there for me," Keith says. 

"Shiro's there," Lance says. 

Keith freezes. 

"Why are you still here, Lance?" Keith sighs.

"Why are you and Shiro not talking?"

"Lance."

"Keith."

Keith sighs heavily and crosses his arms.

"It's none of your business," Keith says. 

"Well, then, I guess my life is none of your business,  _ friend _ ," Lance says, the pique in his voice clear. 

"I asked first," Keith says sulkily. 

Keith sits down on the grass to the side of the sidewalk and Lance flops down next to him. Lance picks at some of the small wildflowers growing in the grass and twists them together in his fingers as Keith watches. 

"You and Shiro…" Lance starts and then trails off when Keith glares at him. He swallows and clears his throat before continuing though. "You two - you're best friends. You've been friends longer than any of us. You turned the universe upside down trying to save him, Keith."

Keith is silent. 

"He asks about you all the time, you know," Lance says, more quietly this time. "I thought maybe he thought I'd have more info because I was out here and he was still on Earth, but…have you really not been talking at all?"

When he was younger, Keith would have bailed on this conversation before it even started, but now he just sighs and sinks down into the grass, looking up at the wide, purple sky above them. The stars are always glowingly present in Altea, but in the late evening, they take on a magical tint in the sky and remind Keith of dreams he had when he was younger. 

"It's complicated," Keith says. 

It's not an answer.

Lance sighs and lies back as well. 

"It always is," Lance says. 

They're quiet for a long time. 

"It doesn't seem fair," Keith whispers. "That all of this exists again, but Allura isn't here to see it."

In the quiet of the night, Keith hears Lance's throat click with a hard swallow. He turns away so he can pretend not to see the tears sliding down the side of Lance's face.

"A lot of things don't seem fair," Lance agrees.

 

* * *

  
  
  


The setting sun casts a golden pink hue over everyone on stage and for a moment, as Coran pins a medal on Shiro's uniform, Shiro looks for all the world like a statue of gold, some version of himself that had been gilded and mounted on a pedestal where he belonged. Keith isn't sure why his heart hurts at the thought. 

Keith is seated in the front row of the audience, next to his fellow paladins, and he feels uncomfortably aware of how many people are behind him just then. He adjusts his collar, too tight and too hot for the Altean heat, and shifts in his chair. Hunk elbows him gently and winks. Keith smiles weakly back. On the other side of Hunk, the empty seat draped in blue and pink steals the smile off his face again.

He hates being here. 

It's not that he doesn't want to see his friends; it's just that seeing them all here, in one place again, reminds him of how much things have fallen apart since Voltron disbanded. When they were in the midst of the war, he'd never given much thought to what came after and now, seeing his former teammates, he wonders if that was a mistake. Clearly, the rest of them had had plans the whole time and Keith…well, Keith is alone again. 

The Paladins are ushered onto stage next, receiving honors and applause from the gathered crowd. Keith recites the prepared, short speech that Coran had insisted on and then nods before leaving the stage as quickly as he can. The other Paladins file back into their seats, but Keith melts into the crowd instead. It's easy to get lost in the press of people, even in his uniform, because everyone's attention is rapt to the Altean speaking. 

He needs some air. 

It isn't long before Kosmo joins him, but Keith pushes his long snout away when he tries to lean into Keith's side. Kosmo huffs but doesn't try again. Keith finds a ledge to sit on where he can watch the rest of the ceremony at a distance. The music is tinny and the speeches are too distant to hear clearly and Keith's heart feels as if someone is squeezing a vice around it. He wants to leave Altea entirely and just forget about the rest of the festivities planned, but he knows his friends' wrath would be formidable if he did. They would probably chase him all the way back to the Blades. 

Instead, he just waits out the end of the ceremony and the mass exodus of Alteans to the fairgrounds set up beyond the stage area and then, when he knows he can't wait any longer, starts his descent back to the palace. 

Everyone else is already seated when he walks into the small outside dining area only big enough to seat the paladins, Shiro, and Coran. Keith takes his seat with a nod amidst the sudden hush that falls over the table as he joins them. 

Hunk clears his throat first.

"Hey, Keith, buddy," he says. "Where'd you go?"

Keith shrugs.

"Alright, so as talkative as always, huh?"

Keith feels the knife's edge in Hunk's words and forces himself to relax every muscle in his tense shoulders.

"Did you make all this?" Keith asks instead of answering Hunk.

Hunk, easy as always, beams, all awkwardness forgotten as he launches into an impassioned speech about the food he's made for them that night. Lance kicks Keith under the table -  _ hard _ \- and Keith has to bite bite his lip to keep from letting out an angry yowl. Lance tilts his head to the side and points very unsubtly to his own mouth, which is pulled into a forced, teeth-bared smile. Keith bares his teeth back, which makes Lance roll his eyes but also doesn't get Keith kicked again. 

The conversation ebbs around Keith's bad mood. The team is more than used to him by now, he supposes. He tries to swallow the bile in his throat when he looks and sees Shiro across the table, instead of sitting next to him like he normally would have in the old days. Shiro seems entirely unaffected, soft-spoken and cheerful in a way that made Keith want to slide further and further down in his chair. 

It takes most of dinner for Pidge to finally needle Shiro about his resignation.

"I can't believe you can even do that, you know," Pidge says loudly, obviously deep into her cup of Altean liquor. "Just quit as an admiral of the Galaxy Garrison! I thought you couldn't quit at that point. Like, you're just there for life."

"Ha," Shiro says quietly and it's the first time all night that his eyes flick to Keith.

Keith feels his pulse ratchet up and he looks away quickly. He hasn't stopped turning the same question of Shiro's resignation over in his head since Lance had let it slip earlier and the taste is sour in his mouth. 

"Well, it wasn't easy to convince them to take my resignation," Shiro says. His hand flexes on the table and only Keith seems to notice. Keith watches the prosthetic slowly uncurl for a long moment as Hunk asks something that Keith misses. Keith's ears are ringing strangely - he itches to take off his jacket or maybe just leave. He tries to re-focus on the conversation, but it's moved on to something else entirely.

When he looks up, Shiro is looking back at him, his brown eyes concerned in way they haven't been in almost two years and something inside Keith snaps in anger at the expression on his old friend's face. 

"Why?" Keith asks suddenly. His question is quiet, but he knows everyone heard him because of the sudden hush and wide eyes that turn to him. Keith looks straight across the table to Shiro and crosses his arms across his chest. "I just wanna know. Why would you resign?"

“Keith--” 

“Are you sick again?”

"We don't need to do this here, Keith," Shiro says, steady as always.

Keith snorts.

"Where else are we gonna do it, Shiro?" Keith says. His voice is rising in pitch and snarl. 

"Uh, guys —" Hunk tries to intercede, but Keith cuts him off.

"Why did I have to find out from Lance?" Keith demands, slamming his hands on the table. "Why was I the last person to know?" 

"Hey!" Lance interjects.

"Keith —" Shiro starts again.

Keith stands and Shiro cuts off abruptly.

"I'm tired," Keith says shortly. "Think I'm gonna head out."

"But we didn't even get to the nargal puffs!" Hunk cries.

No one follows Keith when he slams the door to the hall behind him, but he's only a few paces outside when Kosmo suddenly appears aside him without a sound. Keith lets out a long, shaky breath as he lets one hand fall on Kosmo's shoulder, his hands winding through the wolf's thick fur. 

They walk together to where the Black Lion is waiting, silent as always. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


Keith hears Shiro climb up onto the Lion behind him long before Shiro announces himself with a clearing of his throat. Keith tilts his head to the side and shrugs at Shiro without taking his eyes off the sunset. 

Shiro takes it as an invitation to quietly sit next to Keith. 

Kosmo resettles so that he can easily be pet by both of them and Keith watches the wolf instead of acknowledging Shiro again. 

Shiro waits. 

"You were my best friend once," Keith says finally, when the silence has gone on long enough. "More than that, even. A brother.  _ Everything. _ "

"Keith," Shiro says. Keith is momentarily derailed by the hitch in Shiro's voice, an unusual chink in his armor. He risks a glance over to Shiro and is caught by Shiro's huge, sincere brown eyes staring back at him, pleading for something Keith doesn't understand. 

"I feel like I don't even know you anymore," Keith continues, his voice almost a whisper. His eyes are burning but he doesn't risk moving to wipe his eyes, just stays transfixed by Shiro's gaze instead.

"I'm sorry," Shiro says. He finally looks away from Keith, hanging his head and then licking his lips. 

Keith looks away.

"I didn't know how to be your friend and also your commanding officer," Shiro says. 

"You were my superior back in our Garrison days."

"Keith," Shiro says, more gently this time. "You know it's different when I'm your direct line of command and not just a couple ranks above you."

Keith has no comeback for Shiro. He lets it sit between them instead, an ugly truth that has been unsaid for almost two years. 

"Why did you resign, Shiro?" Keith asks. 

Shiro exhales and when Keith looks over to him, Shiro has his face tilted to the sky and his eyes closed. He looks unbearably young in the soft darkness of the Altean sunset and Keith feels almost like they're teenagers again, taking a break in the desert before heading back to the Garrison. 

"You worked too long and too hard to just resign, Shiro," Keith says, every word sharp as glass in his mouth. "You loved your work. You dedicated your life to it."

Shiro runs a hand through his hair and then lets both of his hands fall into his lap, palms up. 

"And what did it get me?" Shiro says finally, his voice sharper than Keith had ever heard it. "What use was it all if every step of the way, I lose everyone I care about. First, my parents, then Adam, and  _ you _ ."

"You chose —"

"I  _ know _ I chose it," Shiro says, desperate.

Keith looks at him with wide eyes. He's not sure he can remember a time when Shiro had interrupted him like that. When he looks down, both of Shiro's hands, metal and flesh, are curled into tight fists. 

"I know I chose it," Shiro repeats, this time softer and more controlled. "But I'm trying to say that I want to choose something else now. That's why I resigned."

Keith feels like something huge has lodged itself in his throat, heavy and awful. His eyes slide away from Shiro and back to the horizon and they sit in unhappy silence together.

"I don't understand," Keith finally admits. His voice and nerves are frayed. 

"There are plenty of statesmen on Earth," Shiro says. He's not looking at Keith anymore, but down at his hands again. Keith watches him clench and unclench his fists, again and again. "I'm just a pilot. I'm not the kind of leader they're looking for right now. They would have figured it out sooner or later."

Keith looks up to Shiro's face. His mouth feels heavy, weighed down with a frown, and Shiro's shuttered features only make the feeling worse. Keith reaches out tentatively to touch Shiro's arm, his palm slowly sliding to grasp Shiro's arm. 

"You have never been just a pilot, Shiro."

"Keith," Shiro says softly and Keith can't even begin to parse the emotion in his voice. He takes his hand back before he can do anything stupid and curls in on himself a little where he sits. 

"What are you going to do now?"

Shiro sighs.

"I don't know," he says. "I was hoping this trip might shake some work loose. I’m going to stay and stick around with Lance for a while. Then, in a few weeks, Hunk is going to be visiting the Balmera and he's already asked me along, so…"

The invitation to join Keith on his next assignment to map a galaxy is on the tip of Keith's tongue when he swallows it whole. The silence is awkward between them until Keith swings himself up to standing and brushes himself off. 

"Well, sounds like they'll keep you busy then," Keith says and winces at the stiffness in his voice, but doesn't apologize for it. 

"Yeah," Shiro says and lets it hang between them an air of expectation as if he knew exactly what wasn't being said between them. Keith turns away. 

"I'm heading out at first light," he says instead. He lets his hand rest against the cool surface of the Black Lion and feels the familiar purr of anticipation from the Lion. Shiro is still sitting, looking up at the sky, and is silent for a long moment. 

"You were my best friend too," Shiro says softly enough that Keith almost doesn't hear him at all. "Everything I was to you, you were to me, Keith."

Keith stares at Shiro's broad shoulders, familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time. Once, the words would have been enough to set him on fire, but now they are dull knives scraping against his skin, not even sharp enough to leave marks. 

"Good night, Shiro," Keith says. 

"Will you come say goodbye to the others before leaving?" Shiro asks.

Keith pauses, his fingers curling against the unyielding metal of the Black Lion.

"Yeah," he decides. "I gotta apologize to Hunk anyways."

  
  


* * *

  
  


Keith leaves early the next morning - long before first light cracks the Altean horizon. His hands are itchy with the need to fly and he can't sleep anyways, not with the constant loop of things Shiro had said and not said in his head. The Black Lion is not as eager to leave, but jumps into the sky all the same, leaving behind the other Lions and its former paladin.

Altea is just a speck on the horizon behind them in a matter of minutes as Keith sets his course for the galaxy that Kolivan had asked him to scout. It's quiet in the the cockpit, just the low hum of the Lion and Kosmo's soft breathing to keep Keith company, but his mind is anything but quiet.

After his second full day of flying, he checks in with Kolivan and sees two communications from the paladins already waiting for him. One is a recording from Pidge that is mostly a rant about how he couldn't be bothered to show up at breakfast, which he rolls his eyes at and deletes, and the other is from…Shiro. 

Keith doesn't listen to it, but he also doesn't delete it. His finger hovers over the button to delete it, but in the end he just marks it as read and moves on with his night. He still has a lot of flying between him and his first checkpoint for the map he's updating for Kolivan anyways. 

Kosmo is restless in the back of the cockpit, but mostly keeps to himself by chewing on the monstrously huge thigh bone that Hunk had gifted the wolf after Keith apologized for walking out on dinner. Hunk had also packed up several days work of food for Keith, even though Keith insisted he had enough rations to last him. In the end, Pidge had forced Keith to take the food and he wasn't sorry for it as he stuffed several of the delicate puffs in his mouth a few days later. Hunk's food was stratospheres above food goo. 

He reaches his first checkpoint without incident and lands on a planet that is marked as uninhabited on his existing map. By the looks of things as he makes one round of the planet in the Lion, that is still the situation. The planet is a wasteland of scrubby plants, craters and fog and Keith doesn't want to waste too much time there, but it's also a good location to rest in a fairly friendly environment and make sure all the old maps distances and stars were still accurate for the surrounding planets. 

He spends the next day and a half re-calibrating the old star maps and confirming the distances are up-to-date before he can't justify putting off listening to Shiro’s message any longer.

Shiro's face is deep in shadow as his broad features flood Keith's comm screen and there is a small interference band cutting across his eyes.

"Keith," Shiro's recording says and then pauses for a moment. "I thought…maybe I'd see you again this morning, but you'd already left."

Keith frowns at the screen, squinting at the small video of Shiro.

"I wanted…there's something else I need to tell you. I didn't want to add fuel to the fire last night because you were already…well, anyways. Just ping me when you can, okay? It's not something I want to leave in a recording."

Keith lets the static at the end of the message play in the cockpit for a long moment before his finger twitches over the controls and he replays the message. He isn't entirely sure what to make of Shiro's tone - hesitation and eagerness somehow wrapped into one. He also isn't sure what to make of Shiro even leaving him comm messages at all - it had been so long since the last time Shiro had done that, Keith wasn't sure he even remembered the last time they talked when they weren't just conveniently in the same room. 

He plays the message one last time through but can't bring himself to delete it. He'll call at his next checkpoint in a few days. He needs to screw his head on a little straighter before he talks to Shiro again. 

Keith looks out the front windows of the Lion and sighs. It's a strange, green twilight time on the planet he's on and it's exactly the kind of strange, beautiful sight that he would have wanted to share with Shiro once upon a time. Kosmo nudges under his elbow to angle his head for scratches and Keith obliges absent-mindedly for a moment before he stands from his seat. 

"Want to go for one last walk before take off again, bud?" he asks the wolf. Kosmo wags his tail in enthusiastic approval. Before Keith can open the hatch, Kosmo instead zaps them down to the surface of the planet. Keith laughs and ruffles the wolf's ears before the wolf bounds off into the field, his huge paws crushing the scraggly plant life with abandon. 

Keith watches the wolf run around the field for a moment before turning back to the lights in the sky, dancing blue and green across the strange horizon. It was breathtaking. He takes a few captures to save the view to show Krolia and maybe Pidge and then begins to walk a little deeper into the craggy land that surrounded him, looking up into the atmosphere the whole time, trying to name the stars and planets he'd spent the better part of two days checking and rechecking against his maps. He gets so lost in it, that the atmosphere is almost dark by the time he thinks to turn around and head back towards the Lion.

A snap of brush behind him catches his attention as he walks back and he turns, looking for Kosmo, but the wolf isn’t there. When he turns back to his path, a tall, slim green alien stands in his way, gun raised.

“Don’t move,” the alien says. “We have you surrounded.”


	2. part ii

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith draws his bayard instinctively and it flashes as it transforms into a long sword. He holds it at ready, wary. The tall, green alien in his path smiles strangely at him, lips pulled tight and no teeth. Keith’s eyes flick around them, but he sees no one else in the craggy landscape around him.
> 
> "I don't want any trouble," Keith says. "I come here in peace."
> 
> "And yet, you draw your sword on us?" the alien says. His voice is slippery and accusatory, thick with an accent Keith doesn’t recognize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: captivity, some references to mistreatment/mild torture while in captivity, but everything eventually is okay

Keith draws his bayard instinctively and it flashes as it transforms into a long sword. He holds it at ready, wary. The tall, green alien in his path smiles strangely at him, lips pulled tight and no teeth. Keith’s eyes flick around them, but he sees no one else in the craggy landscape around him.

"I don't want any trouble," Keith says. "I come here in peace."

"And yet, you draw your sword on us?" the alien says. His voice is slippery and accusatory, thick with an accent Keith doesn’t recognize. 

Keith stands a little straighter. He lets his position drop from ready to something a little less confrontational, but keeps his sword out and one eye on the gun still pointed at his face.

"I am a Paladin of Voltron, here on behalf of the Blade of Marmora, and I mean you no harm," Keith says, trying again to be conciliatory even though it seems to have little effect on the stranger.

"Oh, we know who you are, Black Paladin," the alien says, drifting closer. "Hard to miss your arrival on that monstrosity, after all."

"Who is we?" Keith says. His eyes do another quick scan of their surroundings, but he still sees no one else. Then, just as suddenly as he decides they are alone, three more aliens appear out of the foggy landscape, all pointing weapons at him. The first one, obviously the leader, smiles at him again, this time showing teeth that glisten, sharp and pointed, in the low light of the stars. 

"As I said," the leader says. "You are surrounded."

Keith's grip on his bayard tightens and he adjusts his stance to a near crouch. 

"What do you want?" Keith asks. 

"You, of course."

"If it's a ransom you're looking for —" 

"You misunderstand, Black Paladin," the leader interrupts. "Your value is not in a ransom from your friends; it's in the bounty from your enemies. There are many in this universe who would still pay a pretty penny to have the Black Paladin of Voltron in their clutches. Revenge fetches a better price than fidelity."

Keith is speechless at that. He snaps his mouth shut as the leader laughs throatily, the sound unpleasant and rough. Keith almost misses the flick of the alien's hand that sends the other three fighters forward, circling Keith. 

The first blow strikes him on the shoulder. 

The next he ducks and takes out one of the fighters by his ankles. 

Keith is parrying off another of the fighters when a shock of electricity lights up every nerve ending in his body and sends him sprawling. He barely has time to catch his breath before one of the aliens has him pinned down with a single foot, unyielding and heavy with alien strength at Keith's back.

"Trusk!" the leader barks.

"Yes, Rakal," a new voice answers.

"Take him down and keep watch."

A short, blue alien, different than the others, rushes forward and binds Keith's hands too tightly and then prods him to his feet. While Keith had been face down in the dirt, more of the aliens had appeared and what little hope Keith had of somehow escaping his captors drains out of him. Trusk shoves a gun into Keith's back which bumps him forward so suddenly that Keith nearly pitches forward again, his feet still unsteady from the shock. 

Several of the aliens around them grunt in laughter at that and Keith straightens as quickly as his can. His blood boils as he is prodded further down the path. Another of the aliens puts a rough-hewn bag over Keith's helmet so he loses even his vision as he is led down some pathway and the air gets colder around him.

Finally, he is pushed down to the ground and the bag is taken off his head. 

The short blue alien the others had called Trusk spits at Keith. Keith swivels away so the spit mostly lands at his feet, but his limbs are too tightly bound to avoid it completely. His lips curl in disgust, but the blue alien only laughs.

"That's for that wolf of yours biting me," Trusk says, holding up a bandaged arm. A nasty grin spreads across his face. "But it's alright, because I got him right back."

Keith glares back, but keeps his mouth shut.

"He might have slipped loose from us somehow, but he won't last long," Trusk says.

Keith's fingernails bite into the palm of his hand, piercing his own skin with the effort of not lunging head-first towards Trusk and demanding what he did to Kosmo. Keith focuses instead of keeping his breathing steady. He closes his eyes and leans back against the cold stone wall, trying to get his heart to stop racing with worry. When he opens them, he begins an inventory of his makeshift cell because it's the only useful thing he can think to do and worrying about the wolf won't get him any closer to actually helping Kosmo. 

There is only one exit, guarded by Trusk for now, and it looks like he's in some sort of cave system, possibly under the surface of the planet, which possibly explains how the aliens were able to ambush him. They had probably come up out of the ground, like some sort of sewer system. It is cold, but dry in the cave and Keith's armor can only do so much to keep the chill off of him. Before long, he’s shivering and trying to huddle himself closer, foiled by his restraints again and again. They’re tight and uncomfortable on both his legs and wrists. His bayard iss missing, probably in the hands of the aliens. 

Keith sighs.

Things aren't looking great.

 

\--------------------------

 

Keith's captors keep him awake by poking at him at regular intervals, laughing as the electrified end of their prod shocks Keith and he writhes on the floor for a moment before regaining control of his limbs. They offer neither food nor water and Keith doesn't ask for any. Instead, he spends his time cataloguing as much of the individual guards' behavior as possible. They don’t to talk to him, aside from occasional jeers and laughs, and they trade off constantly, although Keith isn't sure how much time is passing. His stomach tells him it has been at least a day, maybe even two, since he was captured, but there is no natural light to help him make sense of time. 

His eyes are heavy from exhaustion and he knows that the constant prods to stay awake are part of their strategy too. An exhausted, hungry prisoner is much easier to control than a well-fed, rested one and the thought only makes him angrier. 

The anger is a useless pit of fire in his already yawning stomach.

Keith tries to connect with his Lion, but the concentration needed to not only feel for the Lion, but bring it to life seems impossible when every time his eyes slip closed, one of the guards shocks him again. After every shock, his brain feels a little more sluggish, endlessly circling the idea of calling the Black Lion but having trouble remembering how to begin. 

He thinks of Shiro. Again and again. How his eyes had looked the last time Keith had seen him, dark and pleading. His hands curling into fists and no one noticing except Keith. The way his voice had been so hesitant in the message he’d left for Keith on the comms. He wonders if Shiro had stayed on Altea as planned or if he’d gone back to Earth. Maybe none of the paladins had left at all yet. 

Keith isn't sure how many hours or days pass until he is pulled roughly to his feet, the bounds around his legs released so he can be marched somewhere new. His head is thick with tiredness and the shocks that the guards seem to delight in sending through him. 

They don't bother with a bag this time, which turns Keith's stomach. 

It means he won't be coming back. 

Rakal the leader is waiting at the end of a long passage in the cave and he smiles at Keith, reaching out to grab Keith’s shoulder roughly and studying him for a moment before nodding to the guard. Keith wants to spit at Rakal but his helmet is still on and he can barely keep himself upright anyways. He allows himself to be jostled along behind Rakal by Trusk and another guard. The walk seems to take forever, much longer than the first time, but Keith knows his perception is stretched with hunger and bone-deep tiredness.

When they finally reach the surface, they emerge into the planet's bleak atmosphere and the skies that Keith had been distracted by days ago are now overcast and dark with no stars or lights peeking through. 

Trusk pushes Keith down to his knees and Keith collapses willingly enough.

There is a large gathering of aliens around them that Keith is only vaguely aware of. His eyes can’t adjust to the light on the surface, but there is a loud hum of conversation around him. He hears footsteps and the conversation goes quiet. 

"Impressive," an unfamiliar voice says, deep and feminine. 

Keith looks up to see a forebodingly tall, muscular frame of what could only be a Galran. He doesn't recognize her, but she wears the remnants of a Commander's uniform and the hard stare she pins him down with is enough to convince Keith that she is no one to trifle with. The nerves radiating off of Trusk behind Keith, whose hands are obviously shaking as he keeps his gun on Keith, only confirms Keith's impression. 

He squints at her, trying to identify her, but his mind is murky and unhelpful.

"And the Lion?" the Galran asks, turning away from Keith almost as soon as she finishes a single look assessment of him.

"As soon as we receive payment, Commander Ladnok," Rakal says.

"Very well," the Galran, apparently Ladnok, says, waving at the others standing behind her. 

A soldier comes forward with a small chip that he hands over to one of Ralak's men. Trusk then pushes Keith forward and the soldier takes a beat to look annoyed with Trusk before leaning down and grabbing Keith roughly by the arm, jerking him up as if he were nothing more than a feather. 

Keith grunts at the sharp pain, but otherwise presses his lips together, keeping quiet. 

He isn't taken far and when the soldier jerks him to a stop, he takes the moment to look around for the first time. The atmosphere of the planet is so overcast that it's still hard for him see, even with his helmet on, but his eyes are cooperating with the low light now. He is surprised to see only a small Galra ship, barely as large as the Castle of Lions had once been and certainly not in league with any cruiser. He counts the Galra present, but only counts as many as many as fifteen. 

It's an unusually small band and Keith isn't sure if there are more Galran waiting in the sky, but it certainly seems like Commander Ladnok isn't taking orders from anyone but herself. He had heard of some remaining rogue bands of Galrans taking to be privateers, but they were far away from the normal hunting grounds for such business. 

Keith is made to watch as the Black Lion is beamed onto the Galran ship and then Ladnok and a small contingent of soldiers return with several of Keith's original captors accompanying them, all with smug smiles. 

"Pleasure doing business with you, Commander Ladnok," Ralak says, obsequious and thoroughly punchable, as Keith is marched onto the ship. 

Keith misses Ladnok's response as the soldier in charge of him grunts at him to move faster. At least he isn't being electrocuted this time. The soldier detains Keith with a heavy, clawed hand on his shoulder immediately inside the ship and they watch as Ladnok and the last of the soldiers board.

"Take the Black Paladin to the brig," Ladnok says as soon as she crosses the bridge onto the waiting ship. "Make sure he is secure."

"Yes, Commander Ladnok," one of Ladnok's contingent says. "And the bounty hunters?"

"Kill them."

"Yes, Commander."

  
  


\---------------

  
  


The Galrans are more generous captors than the bounty hunters. 

Keith receives something at least resembling food not long after he is pushed into a cell and then left alone. He eats ravenously and then is lulled to sleep by the stark quiet of the cell. Sleep takes him gratefully.

He is awoken by soft voices floating in through the tiny bars of his cell and he pushes himself upright slowly, his body screaming with every movement, and quietly moves closer to the door. 

"Why should we risk our necks with the Black Paladin?" the first voice says. "We should have just taken the Lion and left the paladin to rot with those bounty hunters."

"Ladnok needs the bargaining chip," a second voice says, more hushed than the first. "What's more impressive? A single Lion or a Lion  _ and _ a captured paladin?"

"The paladin is nothing but a liability."

"Maybe so, but with him, Ladnok can make a show of her return. Imagine her bringing his freshly severed head with her to the rendezvous with Kozan. That puts us ahead."

Keith's stomach curdles at the thought. His chance for escape is even slimmer now that he is on a rogue Galran ship, headed who knows where. On top of that, he doesn't know how long he has to come up with a plan either. 

He doesn't even have his bayard. 

Or Kosmo, who he could only hope has escaped whatever fate had met the bounty hunters.

The guards move on and Keith slumps back down to the cold floor. 

Days pass. Keith is given one meal a day that keeps him alive, but little more than that. His stomach feels like it has forgotten what being full even feels like and his sleep is fitful and full of nightmares.

The first sign that something is wrong is when the guard who usually brings Keith his one meal doesn’t show up. Keith waits, but he never comes. After he has given up on food for the day, he falls against the wall and tilts his head back, not intending to sleep, but falling into a half-dazed nap anyways.

Keith is jolted awake hours some time later by the walls of ship around him shaking so badly, he's fleetingly afraid the ship is going to burst into pieces. Then, just as suddenly as the ship rights itself, Keith is thrown forcibly back against the wall again with another blast, a sharp bloom of pain in his leg as he falls to the ground. 

They're under attack. They have to be. 

Keith feels a flutter of hope followed by panic. 

No one except the bounty hunters knew he was on the ship and if Ladnok was to be taken seriously, they were all dead by now. He just hopes whoever is attacking the Galran ship doesn't blast them out of the sky. He drags himself up and over to the door of his cell, but the hallway is empty of soldiers. 

His heart is jackhammering in his chest as he shakes the door of his cell to no avail. 

The ship heaves again and Keith is thrown so hard into the wall that the next thing he knows, he's blinking awake to the sound of shrill panic alarm. Things are obviously dire for the Galran ship, but his cell door is still firmly shut.

Keith moans.

He tries to stand, but when he gets his legs underneath him, his right ankle immediately crumples and he cries out in pain. 

"Damn," he says through gritted teeth. He pounds his fists on the floor in frustration. "Damn!"

"Keith?! Are you there?!" Someone calls out and the voice is so familiar and impossible that Keith isn't sure if his ears are playing tricks on him. "Keith!"

Before he can question himself further, Shiro's face, worried and sharp, appears in the small window in his cell door. Keith tries to get up again before remembering his ankle. His entire body flashes white with pain and he falls prone to the ground, trying to get himself back up on his elbows. He tries to speak, but nothing comes out but a croak, his throat parched from days on end of no water. 

"Hold on! We're coming in," Shiro says. 

Keith braces for the door to be blasted open, but instead, there is only the loud, insistent panic alarm and between two breaths, Kosmo appears with Shiro holding tight to his fur. Shiro immediately drops his grip on the wolf and falls to his knees next to Keith.

"Where are you hurt?" he asks. 

Keith tries to speak again, but the same awful croak comes out. He waves at his leg in frustration. 

Kosmo comes closer and nudges him with his cold snout and Keith hugs the wolf as tightly as he can, burying his face in Kosmo's fur. He hears Shiro say something else, but his head is swimming in relief and pain and noise and he can't make sense of any of it so he just keeps his face buried in Kosmo’s neck.

The next thing he knows, they're tumbling into another room, bright white and obviously Altean-made. 

Shiro puts his arms around Keith and murmurs something in his ear, but Keith still feels like he's underwater. He slides his own arms around Shiro, letting go of Kosmo, and lets himself fall into Shiro's chest. 

Shiro tugs him close and Keith closes his eyes, lost in the feeling.

 

\----------------

 

Keith crawls awake through a thick black ocean of consciousness. The room he finds himself in is spare and white, but clean and obviously part of some kind of medical bay based on the healing pods and other instruments Keith recognizes from the Castle of Lions. He's alone when he wakes but a slim Altean he doesn't know walks in before he can muster enough strength to stand from his cot and squeaks at him before disappearing just as suddenly and then reappearing with Shiro.

Keith's brain feels sluggish as he processes Shiro there, but when he doesn't disappear after a few blinks, Keith swallows and tries to speak. Instead of Shiro's name, nothing but a croak comes out.

"It's okay," Shiro says, stepping forward. "You're okay."

Keith swallows but his throat is rough as sandpaper.

Shiro’s hand is warm and soft on the side of his face, before disappearing again. 

Keith frowns although he’s not sure why.

"We have Kosmo too," Shiro says. "He helped us find you."

Keith nods, still swallowing and trying to find his voice.

"The Black Lion is okay too, just a little banged up," Shiro reports, even though Keith hadn't thought to ask yet. Keith sighs in relief anyway, the knowledge that the Black Lion was okay was comforting even if Keith feels like his entire body was weighed down with lead. 

"I can explain later," Shiro says. "For now, rest. We're safe here. Hunk, Pidge and Lance are here too. I've let the Blades know we located you."

The next time Keith wakes, he feels less like he got hit by a bus, but still sore and exhausted. Shiro isn't there this time and for a moment Keith allows himself a flutter of panic that he's begun hallucinating and he's still in the cramped cell on the Galran ship after all. 

He is swinging himself out of the cot he's on to leave the empty, sterile room when Lance comes in, carrying a tray of food that could have only been produced by Hunk. 

"Woah, buddy, slow down," Lance says and pushes Keith back onto the bed with one hand. 

Normally a shove from Lance wouldn't have moved Keith much, but now it knocks him off-balance enough to force him back into a sitting position on the bed. He scowls at Lance. 

"You just got out of the healing pod, man, take it easy,” Lance says. “Here, eat this."

Lance shoves the tray of food at him and Keith takes it reluctantly. His traitor stomach growls when he catches a whiff of whatever is inside the carefully wrapped burrito and he sighs, adjusting himself so he's sitting properly on the bed and can put the tray down on his lap. 

His eyes take in his perfectly healed ankle and he wiggles it just to make sure but there is no pain at all. He isn’t sure he’ll ever get used to the healing pods, but he certainly doesn’t mind their results even if he does feel like he wants to sleep another month or two.

Lance waits until he's three bites in to his burrito before speaking again, which is remarkable restraint on his part. 

"You were not looking pretty for a few days there," Lance says, watching him eat. He's more solemn now that Keith is eating. 

Keith wants to scowl again, but the burrito is a higher priority. 

“Shiro's been really worried. Practically haunting the healing pods while you were in there,” Lance continues. “I think he's on the comm with Kolivan now. They gave us the map you were supposed to be updating and we’ve picked up where you left off while you were under. It's nice, you know, to all be back together for something. Besides, this way, if there's any more trouble out there, you'll actually have back-up. I can't believe you thought it was a good idea to just go off alone into a strange galaxy."

"Unoccupied," Keith grunts. He frowns at his own voice, so gruff and scratchy.

Lance waves him off. 

"You could have asked us for help in the first place," Lance says. 

"Blades mission," Keith says, keeping his answers short both because he's still inhaling his burrito and because his throat is screaming at him every time he tries to talk or swallow and he prefers the swallowing. 

Lance tuts and crosses his arms.

"That's a bullshit excuse these days and you know it," he says. 

Keith doesn't respond. His eyes instead glance towards the door. 

"He's on the observation deck," Lance says.

Keith gives him a dirty look, but doesn't deny that they both know who he is looking for. 

"He's been here almost non-stop," Lance says, sounding almost defensive. "But he's also trying to keep updated with Kolivan. With Pidge on the star charting, we're blowing through to map he sent you."

Keith grunts again.

"Alright, well…" Lance trails off awkwardly, clearly sensing the downturn of Keith's mood. "The deck is just around the corner to the left when you're ready, by the way."

Keith shoves the last of the burrito in his mouth and pushes his tray away. He gives Lance a weak smile because knows he’s being difficult. 

Lance slugs him gently on the shoulder.

"Thanks," Keith says, barely managing a whisper.

"No problem," Lance says, more confident now. "It's nice to see you out of the pod, man. You were under for a couple of days." 

It doesn't take Keith long to find Shiro sitting alone on the observation deck, exactly where Lance said he would be. Shiro smiles when Keith sits down next to him and they sit in silence together as Keith watches the stars blink in and out of sight around them. 

"How did you know?" Keith’s voice cracks and he grabs his throat, massaging it in frustration.

Shiro rubs the back of head, his mouth curled into a strange half-smile as he watches Keith.

"Mostly good luck," he says. "Kolivan contacted us after you didn't check in at your scheduled time and when we couldn't get a message through either, we waited another day and then decided we were close enough to go check on you. When we found the carnage on Chaqa, I thought…God, I thought the worst."

Keith looks over at Shiro, but he's staring out at the stars, his face drawn. Keith’s heart twists painfully in his chest when Shiro looks up at him again and he thinks of all of the time he’d spent wondering if he’d ever see Shiro again while he was in that cell. He swallows, still holding his throat with one hand, his fingers digging into the sensitive skin.

"And then?" Keith asks after a long pause.

"Kosmo," Shiro answers readily. "He found us. He was limping and a little beat up, but in good shape. He must have been hiding out in the craters the whole time. He only came out when he recognized us and he led us straight to some intel - a payment chip from a Galra ship. We also found your bayard."

Keith smiles. 

"It didn't take us long to track them from there because we were able to hone in on the Black Lion's signature and we weren’t too far behind. We tried to hail them as part of the Alliance just in case…they opened fire on us immediately. We’ve took the surviving crew into custody and the Blades are sending an escort to pick them up."

Keith digests this information silently, chewing it over.

"I can set up a secure channel for you to talk to Kolivan as soon as you're ready," Shiro continues. "I've already alerted them that you're safe and recovering."

Keith nods, but isn't sure what to say. His throat is tight and sore from disuse and he feels like he could sleep for a year and still be tired. 

"Keith," Shiro says more gently this time. 

Keith looks over to him and meets his eyes for the first time. 

"Come back to Altea with us," Shiro says. "Rest. Recover."

"The Blades —" Keith starts.

"Will be fine without you."

That it's true doesn't make it any less palatable to Keith. He frowns and then stands, unsteady on his feet but determined. 

"I'm going to find Kosmo," Keith says. 

Shiro frowns and then sighs, letting his head fall for a moment. 

"He's in the kitchen with Hunk, I'll bet," he says. "I can take you there."

"That's okay," Keith says. "I'm sure I can manage on my own."

"Keith."

"I'm sure you have better things to do."

"I don't."

"Well." Keith shrugs. "I'm fine on my own anyways."

Shiro looks taken aback and Keith has to tamp down hard on the knee-jerk reaction to apologize to him for it. Instead, he turns and starts his slow, labored walk down the hallway to find the kitchens. 

Shiro doesn't follow and Keith doesn't look back for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> your comments and encouragement are so helpful and lovely - thanks so much for reading!!


	3. part iii

"It's no Castle of Lions," Hunk says as he concludes Keith's thorough tour of the ship the next day. "But it's really built for agility, you know? Less crew too. I mean, not that we ever had a full crew for the Castle, but you know! We don't need the army of people that the Atlas needed."

Keith is nodding, as he has been for the whole tour. The new ship, fresh off the assembly line in Altea, is a collaboration between Earth and Altea that Keith had known about but mostly ignored while it was being built because he was busy with Blades business. 

"It wasn't really built to also hold our Lions," Hunk says with a small frown. "But before we launched from Altea we cleared out the hangar of other smaller ships, so there is room although it's a lot tighter than the Castle ever was and of course, we don't have our chutes or anything. I was talking to Coran though and I think if we re-configure —"

"Hunk," Keith interrupts. "Please."

"Alright, alright," Hunk says, holding his hands up in defeat. He turns to Kosmo, who is a much more willing audience member and throws the wolf several air kisses. "Let's go back to the kitchens though and get this very good boy some treats."

Hunk leans down, talking in a falsetto voice to Kosmo and Keith rolls his eyes. 

"Don't do that," he says.

"Do what?" Hunk says, still syrupy sweet and focused on ruffling Kosmo's ears.

"Talk to him like he's some baby," Keith says. He crosses his arms. "He's not a kid. He's a wolf."

"A very, very cute wolf," Hunk says, nodding. 

Kosmo mirrors the motion, much to Keith's annoyance. 

Keith sighs.

"How about we also get some treats for your grumpy, wumpy owner?" Hunk asks Kosmo. 

Kosmo barks his agreement and prances after Hunk as he sets off purposefully towards the kitchen to escape Keith's glower. Keith reluctantly follows after them, several paces behind. He has his head down, watching his feet shuffle on the shiny floors of the new ship when he reaches the kitchen, and thinking about the imminent arrival of his mother with a contingent of Blades to collect the Galrans who had turned privateers so he nearly runs bodily into Shiro as he rounds the corner to the kitchen. 

"Keith," Shiro says, warm and familiar. 

Keith bristles in spite of himself and nods to Shiro before slipping past to where Hunk was hastily slipping several chunks of meat to Kosmo. 

"You're going to get him used to all this crap," Keith complains. 

"Hush," Hunk says, shoving a laden plate at Keith. "He deserves it because he's such a good boy."

Kosmo's tail wags. 

Keith hears Shiro laugh softly behind them.

"I'm sure a few treats here and there won't kill him," Shiro says.

He's smiling as he joins Keith at the high counter and steals one of the smaller morsels off the plate Hunk had given Keith. Keith scowls at him and pulls the plate away. Shiro pops the stolen bit in his mouth without a hint of remorse and smiles at Keith. 

Keith doesn't smile back and Shiro's smile wilts. Keith turns to the plate and starts shoving food in his mouth just for something to do. 

Shiro clears his throat.

"I was actually hoping I'd find you here, Keith," he says. "Your mother has reached the outer boundary of this galaxy and should be arriving in a few hours."

Keith pauses his eating, letting one last piece dangle from his fingers. They haven't spoken about Shiro asking Keith to come back to Altea since that first day Keith had been recovering and it hangs heavy in the air now. Keith is running out of time to decide if he wants to make the return trip with the Blades or continue with the paladins back to Altea where Pidge and Hunk will probably leave for Earth again as soon as they've landed. 

"Hey, uh, did it just get really awkward in here or is it just me?" Hunk says suddenly. His huge eyes are darting between Keith and Shiro as if something in their body language will reveal what the tension is about. 

Keith drops his food onto the plate and wipes his hands on his pants before standing. 

"I'll be in my room," he says. "I need to clean up before they get here. Thanks for lunch, Hunk. And the tour."

Hunk gapes at Keith but Keith turns on his heel and leaves before Shiro or Hunk can stop him, only slowing when he reaches the door to his temporary quarters. Kosmo sidles up beside him, looking curious. Keith's bad mood hangs over him like a cloud, but he smiles at his wolf and scratches his ears. 

"Good boy," he says quietly as soon as the door to his room slides shut behind them. 

Kosmo leans into him once Keith sits on the bed, resting his huge head on Keith's lap. Keith sighs and strokes the wolf, letting the rocking motion soothe him. Kosmo eventually jumps onto the narrow cot and Keith scoots all the way back onto the bed to stretch out beside the wolf, letting Kosmo's warmth lull him into a nap even though he knows he should wash up and make sure the Black Lion is fully packed before Krolia arrives. For now though, Kosmo wedges him comfortably into the bed and Keith counts his own breaths until his mind is blank again.

 

* * *

 

 

"Tell me what's wrong," Krolia says as they walk together alone along a gray, rocky beach of an empty planet that night. She had arrived exactly on schedule with two other Blades at their rendez-vous point on the planet Moxa and Keith had been jarred awake by the call over the comms for him to come to the deck to meet them. Unshowered and tousled, he'd arrived after everyone else had already greeted the small contingent and then as soon as she had given her companions their orders for the night, Krolia had steered him away from the rest of the group to take a private walk.

"I'm so tired," Keith admits quietly. "I just feel…I don't know. Tired."

Krolia is quiet, her mouth pulled into a thin line that Keith can see himself in if he looks too long. 

"Working with the Blades has never left much room for regret," Krolia says finally. "I never knew any different until I met your father and when I had to leave Earth, I had to put aside my feelings for the greater good. There was no room for sentimentality."

Keith nods, thinking he understands.

"I'm ready to leave whenever you are," he says, standing a little straighter. "I'm ready to work."

Krolia smiles then and places a gentle, clawed hand on his shoulder. 

"Keith," she says with unexpected warmth. "You misunderstand me."

He frowns at his mother and she tucks some of his long hair behind his ear, a rare moment of softness between them. 

"Your future does not lie with the Blades," Krolia says decisively, as if she was prognosticating the weather and not Keith’s future. . 

Keith gapes at her. 

"What? Mom, I've passed every test they've given me. I deserve to be there." 

"You have other options," Krolia says. 

"No!" Keith cries. The desperation inside him feels clawed and dangerous as it rips through him. "I don't. I don't have anything but this."

"Keith." Krolia stops him with a raised hand. "You built something wonderful with the Voltron team. Your team adores you and they obviously miss you. The Blades have plenty of manpower and our ranks grow everyday as we unite Daibazaal. Your time with the Blades was a gift to me, but I'm telling you it's over."

"You can't…" Keith says again, voice thick. "I have nowhere to go."

Krolia fixes him with an unreadable look before pulling him in for a sudden, fierce hug. 

"Oh, Keith," she says. "You will always have somewhere to go. Daibazaal is your home now too, but your home is also here, with your friends."

"They'll go back to Earth soon," Keith insists. "They have families there. They don't…it's not the same anymore."

"Are you sure?" Krolia asks gently. "Have you asked them what they want?"

"I don't have to," Keith says, his whole body hardening. "I've already seen it once."

Krolia hand is gentle as it threads through Keith's hair and runs down the side of his face.

"We all had things we wanted to do when the war was over, but things are more settled now. I think if you asked them again, you'd find the answers are different than you think."

"Ask what? Do what?"

Krolia laughs and pulls away to hold Keith at arms' length for a moment.

"There will always be coalition building to be done and re-done," she says with a smile. "I think Voltron would be perfect for that and the Coalition would be pleased to have you all back."

Keith is silent as he pulls himself free of his mother's hold and crosses his arms. He feels like a petulant child for it, but he doesn't want to admit that Krolia has made good points. Krolia sits on a nearby rock and pats the spot next to her. Keith sits and she begins to play with his too-long hair. He normally would have cut it by now, choppy and uneven but short enough to manage, but he hadn’t bothered in so long that his hair was nearly past his shoulders in places. 

"I know Shiro wants you to return with them to Altea," Krolia says. 

Keith freezes. He doesn't turn around to look at her, just allows her to continue whatever it is she's doing as she gently tugs at his hair. 

"Is this about him?" She sounds sad when she asks and Keith frowns, his face crumpling for a second before he forces it back to neutrality.

"No," he whispers, unconvincing to his own ears.

Krolia hums. 

Keith knows that she's probably remembering their time in the quantum abyss and the waves of past and present visions that had included Shiro, some true and some not. It had promised a future that the universe seemed to disagree with and Keith had spent a long time reconciling himself to it. 

"Everything I saw has come to pass as expected," Krolia says as if reading his mind. "There are things that have yet to come, but I have faith that when they do, they will be true as well."

Keith swallows hard. He doesn't answer her right away.

"You never think…" he hesitates, tripping over his own tongue. "That maybe when Honerva did whatever it was she did to the rift in realities that some wires might have gotten crossed?"

Krolia tilts her head as if she doesn't quite understand.

"You think the reality we saw in the abyss is no longer the reality we're in?" she asks after a long time. Her voice isn't accusatory, just probing, curious. 

Keith looks away as his eyes burn at the truth of his feelings laid so bare. 

Krolia's hand lands on his arm and she squeezes gently. 

"Sometimes we must be patient before the universe reveals its true plans to us," she says. 

Keith can't help his snort.

"Patience, huh?" he asks with a rueful smile. 

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


In his worst moments, Keith thinks only in the past tense. He wonders if Shiro is the same. 

_ Everything I was to you, you were to me, Keith. _

Shiro's words from their last night on Altea had rattled around in his head on loop while he was in captivity and left to wonder if it might be the last time they spoke. Now, safe and in relatively familiar surroundings, the memory has been rubbed so bare that it feels like a dream more than a memory. 

Keith aches. 

He doesn't know what he wants, but he knows he wants it intensely, more than anything he's ever wanted. 

Keith hides himself away in his Lion when Krolia leaves a few hours after their walk together. The Lions are all sitting together on an outcropping of rocks, but the rest of Paladins and the handful of Alteans from the ship who had made the journey down to the surface of Moxa are absorbed in Coran's enthusiastic tour of the local wildlife when Keith slips away. 

He watches them from the cockpit of the Lion, an empty feeling gnawing at his stomach. 

Shiro had been unreadable when Krolia was leaving, stoic and in command, but when Keith hadn't taken off with the rest of the Blades, Shiro had clearly been surprised. Keith had avoided his probing gaze and made sure that Lance and Pidge were buffers for the rest of the night before escaping. It hurt more than it should have to know that Shiro was surprised that Keith was staying with the Paladins, even though Keith really had been intending to leave before Krolia decided otherwise. 

He supposes he still could leave. Krolia outranks him in the Blades, but Kolivan would probably override her if Keith really wanted to continue running missions for the Blades. He knows that she knows it too, knew it before she'd said anything to him. Krolia had calculated that even though he'd be upset with her, he wouldn't call her bluff with Kolivan and she was right. He isn't going back to the Blades. 

Keith's comm buzzes with a notification that the rest of the crew is ready to return to their orbiting ship and he acknowledges it briefly, letting them know he is ready to fly. 

He is the first one in the sky, but circles the ship as the other Lions launch into the atmosphere and head straight to their docking platform on the ship. He waits until the entire contingent is on board before steers the Black Lion inside, taking the last spot on the dock. By the time he disembarks most everyone has left the platform already, no doubt off to the small mess hall to eat after a long day on Moxa.

Shiro remains, leaning over the railing and watching Keith quietly as he does a post-flight inspection of the Black Lion and puts his armor away. Despite Keith's slow, lingering inspection, Shiro is still there when he's finished, looking just as patient as before. It sparks a small flame of resentment in Keith's chest for the way it reminds him of when Shiro used to bail him out of trouble back in their Garrison days and then wait quietly for Keith to finally explain himself. Keith tries to stamp out the feeling, swallowing down the bitter feeling as he rests his hand on the cooling surface of the Lion. 

The Black Lion is silent but a soft wave of peace laps at Keith's consciousness. He smiles down at where his hand rests and pats the Black Lion gratefully before he turns around and walks up the narrow staircase to join Shiro. He leans his forearms against the same railing and looks out over the now emptied platform at the silent Lions and the handful of cruisers stuffed tidily into the space. 

"I expected you to accompany Krolia back to the Blades."

Keith gave a short, aborted laugh.

"Yeah," he says. "So did I."

Shiro doesn't react aside from a small shift of his eyes towards Keith. They shift away again and they are quiet for a long time, just breathing in the same space. Keith lets his own eyes drift close, his heartbeat is loud in his ears but he can still hear Shiro's quiet, steady breaths from right beside him. He feels that same ache in his chest again, as though someone was slowly cracking his ribs apart, pulling him in every direction. 

He nearly jumps when Shiro speaks again, so soft his voice is almost a hum. 

"Don't tell Hunk, but I have some Earth food stashed in my room."

It's a peace offering that Keith isn't sure he's ready to accept, but he opens his eyes and nods. Shiro doesn't wait for him to change his mind and with a nudge of his elbow to Keith's side, he subtly herds Keith through the labyrinth of hallways until they get to Shiro's room. 

Shiro's room is almost a carbon copy of Keith's own on the ship. It is bare except a bag tucked neatly into the corner and the sheets on the bed are perfectly squared away. Shiro gestures for Keith to sit and Keith sinks to the floor instead of sitting on the pristine bed, letting his back rest against it and spreading his legs out in front of him. Shiro begins to unzip his bag and then, he turns slightly and fixes a considering gaze on Keith.

"Close your eyes," Shiro says, with an air of decisive command. 

Keith tries not to scowl at him and doesn't close his eyes, but instead cranes his neck to look around Shiro's broad shoulders. Shiro huffs a laugh, easily blocking Keith's line of sight.

"Why?" Keith asks. 

"Trust me."

Keith gives him an incredulous look, but then with a sigh, he makes a great show of closing his eyes. There's a rustling of plastic as Shiro sorts through the bag in the corner of the room and then a moment later, Shiro is setting a plastic package of something in Keith's hands.

"Okay," Shiro says, softer now.

Keith's eyes flutter open and he meets Shiro's uncertain brown eyes directly in front of him and for a moment, he forgets that he's supposed to be looking at whatever Shiro had put in his hands. He blinks and then forces himself to look down into his lap. The familiar dark blue packaging forces a surprised laugh through his lips.

"Oreos?" he asks, holding the package up to his eyes as if it might suddenly change. 

Shiro smiles, obviously triumphant and then sits down next to Keith on the floor, leaning his back against the bed as well and letting their shoulders brush. Keith busies himself with opening the cookies and immediately stuffs one in his mouth without shame. It had been a long time since he'd thought of oreos, much less had the pleasure of actually eating them. 

He's halfway through the first cookie and about to offer the package to Shiro when the thought hits him like a truck. 

"You don't like oreos," Keith says. The package is suspended between them as Keith says it and he falteringly pulls it back, looking down at the cookies in sudden confusion. 

"No," Shiro agrees.

"I like oreos," Keith says dumbly. His brain is working overtime trying to make sense of the cookies in his hands and why Shiro would have wasted valuable room in packing to bring them. 

"You do," Shiro agrees again. 

There’s an awkward silence as Keith’s brain spins uselessly with that information. He clears his throat once, twice, and then licks his lips. He grasps at the first thing he can think of to change the subject.

"You said you had something else to tell me when you called. Before."

Shiro looks surprised for a second, confused by the sudden shift, but then his face clears as he remembers the early morning video message he had left Keith after their fight on Altea. His shoulders slump a little and his eyes shift away from Keith.

"Oh. We don't have to talk about that right now."

Keith puts another cookie in his mouth, chewing on it with purpose even though he could barely taste it through the buzz of his anxiety. He licks the crumbs from his fingers before setting the package of remaining cookies aside. 

Keith is keenly aware of Shiro watching him.

"I missed you," Shiro whispers finally. "I  _ miss _ you."

The air seems to crack between them, ripping the quiet moment open and revealing it for what it really is. 

"Shiro," Keith whispers, voice unsteady.

Shiro doesn't move beside him as Keith's shaky fingers run along the smooth fabric of Shiro’s coat and catch at the end of the cuff, brushing Shiro's wrist as Keith hooks his fingers under the sleeve. Keith stares down his hand, unsure what he had meant to do, focuses instead of the soft, thrumming feeling of the back of his fingers against Shiro's wrist and tries to understand why it feels so electric and strange to him. 

Shiro is quiet, patient as always, even with this. 

Slowly, like Keith is a wild animal that might get spooked by sudden movements, Shiro shifts closer and then, telegraphing every movement, turns his wrist over and slides their palms together until their fingers fall between each other, curling naturally together. 

_ Oh _ .

Keith swallows, looking down at their joined hands, letting his fingers curl more purposefully around Shiro's. He pulls his eyes away from their hands and looks up to see Shiro staring back at him, looking just as shell-shocked as Keith feels. Keith can't think of anything to say that would come close to the storm in his head so instead he raises their joined hands to his chest and lets his head fall back against the bed, his eyes closing in a sudden wave of exhaustion. 

Shiro moves closer. He doesn't take his hand away. 

Keith lets his head fall onto Shiro's shoulder and he breathes in Shiro's familiar scent, letting it calm his still galloping heart. Shiro squeezes his hand and leans back, his cheek warm and heavy on Keith.

"You need to sleep," Shiro murmurs after a while. 

Keith doesn't respond beyond a loud push of breath through his nose. 

Shiro noses into Keith's hair and it sends a bolt straight through Keith's middle. He wants to lean into that small nuzzle and see where it leads. Shiro smiles as Keith holds his hand a little tighter.

"You need to shower," Shiro tries again. When Keith doesn't respond, Shiro adds softly, almost an afterthought, "I do too."

Shiro lets them sit a minutes longer before nudging Keith gently to standing. He still doesn't take his hand back but uses their linked fingers instead to lead Keith to his small bathroom. Keith follows without resistance. Once inside, Shiro reaches inside the shower and turns the water on. He makes to untangle his hand from Keith's, but Keith tightens his fingers instead. 

"You need to shower," Shiro cajoles, tilting his head towards the small stall. 

"So do you."

Shiro freezes and then, as if he were an ice cube melting in the growing steam of the room, his shoulders drop and he sighs, long and slow. His other arm, warm metal, touches Keith's waist gently and then when Keith doesn't pull away, Shiro slides his hand under the hem of Keith's shirt and slowly pushes it up. This time, when he tries to reclaim his other hand, Keith lets him and lifts his arms at the same time, letting Shiro take his shirt off and then watching as he gently folds it and puts it on the lip of the sink. He looks back to Keith then, clearly waiting for his cue. 

Keith licks his lips and steps forward before tugging the jacket gently away from Shiro's shoulders and off. It falls to the floor and Keith moves on to the loose shirt Shiro has underneath, unbuttoning each small eye with care until that too slides off of Shiro's shoulders and onto the floor. Then, Keith steps back and before he can feel any hesitation, strips his pants and remaining clothes off and steps into the shower.

When Shiro silently steps in behind him a minute later, Keith forces himself to breathe. The water is so hot, it almost scalds his skin, but Keith focuses on the drum beat of water rather than think too hard about what was happening. Shiro's flesh hand glides gently on Keith's shoulder and Keith reaches a hand up to cover it. Shiro steps a little closer, his wet flesh pressing up against Keith's back, and kisses the tips of Keith's fingers before his other hand comes up and starts to gently massage soap into Keith's skin. 

Keith sighs into the sensation and Shiro takes his time washing Keith thoroughly, letting his fingers linger on Keith's scalp and shoulders, his broad hands smoothing over Keith's flesh in comforting circles that has Keith melting back into him. It isn’t sexual, but still Keith can't remember ever being touched like this before, with so much care and attention. He doesn't realize he's crying until Shiro gently wipes a tear away with his thumb. Keith inhales shakily and opens his eyes which had fallen closed. He turns around to face Shiro, more difficult in the tiny shower stall than it should have been, and falls into Shiro's chest, wrapping his arms tightly around Shiro's middle. Shiro hugs him fiercely back. 

"I don't know what I'm doing," Keith says quietly, not sure his voice is even audible above the shower rain around them. Shiro's hand pauses its circles for a second on his back before resuming its path. 

"That's okay," Shiro says. "As long as you want to do it."

Keith closes his eyes, feeling more burning tears squeeze out of his eyes and fall onto Shiro's chest.

"I love you," Keith says.

Shiro's arms tighten around him again and his breathing is so heavy that Keith looks up, worried, then surprised to see Shiro crying as well. 

"Shiro?" he asks. 

"Keith," Shiro says. "I love you, too. Of course. I love you."

Keith lets his head fall back into Shiro's chest and presses his lips to Shiro's skin, the water running down it diverting onto his face and chin. Shiro holds him until the water runs cold and then reaches around him to turn the water off. He steps out of the shower first and when Keith follows, meets him with a towel that he uses to gently dry Keith off. Keith lets him, fascinated by the gentleness and purpose in every move of Shiro's hands. 

After Keith is satisfactorily dry, Shiro gives himself a far more efficient rubdown with the towel and then hangs it on the hook behind the door before walking back out into the bedroom. 

Keith follows, drifting after him, still naked and a little cold from the shower.

"Do you want something to wear?" Shiro asks, barely above a murmur. 

Keith considers it but then with a stride more confident than he actually feels, he crosses the room to Shiro's bed and crawls in, burrowing under the thin blankets and crowding against the wall so Shiro can slip in beside him. Shiro smiles softly, his face broad and open for the first time Keith can remember in a long time, and he turns off the lights before sliding in next to Keith, his flesh already warm. He spends a moment deactivating his arm, putting it to rest on the small cradle next to his bed that had been built for it, and then when the soft blue light fades, he sinks down next to Keith, face to face. 

Shiro's hand comes up to cup Keith's jaw and Keith can't help but press into the feeling, closing his eyes as Shiro's thumb brushes across his cheek. 

"Sleep," Shiro says. 

Keith mumbles an assent and then before Shiro can take his hand back, he reaches up to grab it and hold it against his chest, just as he had done earlier. He feels Shiro shift closer on the bed to accommodate him.

He falls asleep like that, his hand curled loosely around Shiro's against his chest.

  
  


* * *

 

  
  


Keith wakes and is momentarily confused where he is until he sees Shiro's shifting, powerful shoulders on the bed next to him, his back to Keith. Shiro is leaning over the side of the bed, reading a communication on his small tablet and Keith watches him silently.  

Shiro is beautiful in his nakedness, all muscle and brown skin interrupted only by pale scars. The thin sheet has fallen down his body to pool at his waist where he leans over from and Keith can just see the swell of his ass. His eyes follow the lines of Shiro's legs beneath the sheets. His hands itch to reach out and touch Shiro, make sure that he's real and human beside Keith. 

Shiro sighs at something on his tablet and then puts it away before settling back into the bed. When he sees Keith watching him, he starts and then smiles, a sad wary smile that makes Keith's heart twist painfully.

"It's still early," Shiro says. He reaches out and lets the back of his hand brush against Keith's cheek and then gently pushes Keith's unruly hair out of his eyes. 

Keith nods, his face still creased against the pillow. 

Shiro relaxes, satisfied by that, and is drifting off again when Keith speaks.

"I saw things in the abyss," Keith admits. His voice is muffled by the pillow, but Shiro’s eyes blink open and focus on him immediately. "Not just the past, but the future too. But there were some things…I thought that maybe the abyss got it wrong and this was a different reality than the one we're in. It didn't seem like it could be real anymore."

"I didn't know that," Shiro says softly.

Keith hums in silent assent. He'd kept most of his time in quantum abyss private, had never wanted to poke at the gaping wound it had torn in his heart. He wonders now if it was wise. 

"Did you see…" Shiro starts, trailing off.

He doesn't have to finish for Keith to know that he's asking about the clone.

"Yes." Keith presses his mouth into a single line. 

"But you didn't know it wasn't me," Shiro says, still reading Keith like a book after all this time. 

"No, not until it happened."

Shiro is quiet. He turns his head away and up to the ceiling, the glint of tears in his eyes a surprise to Keith.  

"I remember more and more from him as time goes by," Shiro says finally. "Sometimes…I forget. Whose memories are whose. If I did something or if it was him. It's…"

Shiro trails off again.

"I felt like I couldn't get my head straight for so long, Keith," he admits, his voice almost pleading. "I had all these memories of the team, of you, but it was like watching a movie I'd seen a long time ago instead of a real memory. And then every night, I dreamt of you on that platform and in my dreams, I would kill you over and over."

Keith licks his lips, swallowing hard. 

"I'm sorry," Shiro says. "I'm so sorry, Keith."

Keith doesn't know what to say, but Shiro doesn't seem to need an answer. 

He closes his eyes. 

Counts backwards from ten, opens them again. 

Shiro is still there. 

Keith still doesn't trust himself to speak so instead, he scoots a little closer to Shiro and turns his face into the warm skin of Shiro's chest. Shiro's arm immediately swings around his shoulder and pulls him close, his hand holding Keith's head to his shoulder.

"Keith," Shiro sighs his name like a confession. 

They lay together like that until it’s time to report for the day’s duties. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

During the war, Keith never had much time to think about sex. Getting off was the least of his priorities and even when he did stick a hand down his pants for some release, he never seemed to concentrate on anything more than the feeling of being touched, an ache deep in his bones that he could never satisfy with his own hand. Even before Voltron, Keith had been entirely disinterested in the romance-chasing activities of his fellow cadets and had never fully understood how distracted they could be by it. He thought maybe it was just another thing that was wrong with him, broken somehow. 

After their first night sleeping in bed together, Keith doesn't return to his own room except to grab clothes and shower. Shiro never questions it, seems grateful for Keith in his bed even if Keith doesn't speak any known language of intimacy yet, so much so that just Shiro's hand resting on his clothed hip feels screamingly intimate to Keith. They keep their clothes on, but curl closer and closer to each other every night. Sometimes Keith wakes up to Shiro watching him as if he can't believe Keith is there at all and Keith's chest feels splintered, blown wide open with grief all over again. 

He doesn't know what's supposed to come next.

The mapping project Keith had been working on before his capture accelerates with the extra help and they wrap up the exploration days before Keith would have on his own, even with the time lost. His team's presence on the ship feels like a gift when he's on deck or in the Black Lion, but at night, he can't help but count the minutes until they leave again. The day Coran sets their return course for Altea, Keith excuses himself to the observation deck and spends his evening watching stars rush by the ship. 

Shiro joins him after his duties for the day are over.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Shiro says after letting the silence stretch between them. 

Keith shakes his head. 

"Nothing," he lies. He knows it's blatant. 

“Are you worried about what happens when we land?” Shiro asks, right on the money, as always. 

Keith does his best not react, picking at his nails. 

“I’m staying,” Shiro says softly. He’s so much closer now, crowding into Keith’s space, his hand seeking out Keith's and threading them together. Keith looks down at their hands and sighs. They've been dancing around this conversation for days now, each afraid to poke at the wound too much when they were still bleeding from so many others. 

“You can’t promise that,” Keith says. 

Shiro’s grip tightens on his hand.

“Keith,” Shiro sighs. “I’m trying to say I want to be with you. That’s why I’m here. It’s why I resigned.”

Keith looks away, blinking at the burning in his eyes. He hates all the crying he’s done in the past week. He feels like he’s done a lifetime of crying in just days and there’s no end to it because he keeps finding some other well of grief in his heart that he hasn’t explored yet. 

“You won’t stay,” Keith says, putting voice to his fears. “Not forever.”

“I will,” Shiro insists. “I want to.”

Keith shakes his head. Shiro fixes him with a pleading look that threatens to melt Keith where he sits, so Keith does the worst thing he can think of and grabs Shiro by the front of his shirt before crushing their mouths together, bruising and graceless. Despite their stolen nights together, they haven't done this yet, lips on lips is a strange new territory for Keith. His mouth feels clumsy against Shiro's and he pulls back with a small gasp of breath.

"Even then?" Keith challenges, still holding on to Shiro's collar, keeping him too close. Keith feels reckless and wild. He knows he’s stomping on the carefully reconstructed peace between them, probably breaking rules he didn’t even know were there, but he can’t bring himself to regret it. If they’re going to do this, there’s no point in doing it halfway. Keith can’t live in the in-between anymore. 

Shiro breathes heavily between them but his eyes are steady as his big hands come up to frame Keith's hold on his shirt and hold them firmly in place. 

"Yes," Shiro says emphatically. " _ Yes _ , Keith."

Keith is momentarily off-kilter and unsure. His grip on Shiro slackens but Shiro holds him in place.

"I meant it," Shiro murmurs. "Everything. I meant it when I said it."

Keith stares at him, waiting for the moment to dissolve somehow, for it to just be an illusion, but Shiro meets his gaze, real and desperate. When Keith surges up to kiss him again, Shiro’s lips taste like salt. Shiro’s hands move to cup Keith’s face and pull him closer, wiping at his face, but the tears continue to fall without heed to Shiro’s care. 

"I don't want to keep feeling like this," Keith admits. Shiro's gentle hand slides into Keith's hair, scratching at his scalp comfortingly before he leans forward and presses a kiss on the side of Keith's mouth.

"I know," Shiro says. He kisses Keith again, this time his lips full and soft against Keith's, guiding him into a real kiss, slow and tender. 

Keith keeps his eyes closed even after Shiro pulls away. Shiro pulls him into a hug, letting Keith lean into his shoulder and rest there. 

“On Earth, after you left for Daibazaal,” Shiro says quietly, rubbing small circles into Keith’s back. “I kept thinking that everything would start to feel normal after a while and that I would stop feeling like something was missing. I had so much to do and so many people wanted things from me. For a while, it was easy to pretend I was just tired.

“We would get your reports though and sometimes I would watch them three times over, just to hear your voice. I missed it so much. I didn’t have anyone to blame but myself for missing you though, so I just tried to carry on.”

Keith shifts in Shiro’s arms to look up at Shiro’s face which is contemplative and far-away. Keith pulls himself even closer, his arms tight around Shiro’s middle and his chin digging into Shiro’s chest as he listens.

“It’s funny, the first time I thought of resigning was because one of your reports. It was after you’d stopped sending them to me directly and I only saw it by chance because Hunk mentioned it. You were on some planet in the Nexapa Galaxy working with the Blades to help deliver supplies. You looked so happy. It made me realize that I was never going to be happy doing what I was doing on Earth. I drafted my resignation letter that same night.

“It took a lot longer to actually go through with it,” Shiro admits. “But that was the beginning. When I came to Altea for Allura’s celebration...I didn’t intend to go back to Earth. At least, not without you.”

Keith swallows. His throat is thick with an emotion he doesn’t have a name for and instead of speaking, he just clings to Shiro. Shiro runs his hand through Keith’s hair, petting it down, while they both stare out at the stars around them. Keith isn’t sure he’ll ever be able to express the vast sweep of feelings that Shiro evokes in him, how he wants to crawl under Shiro’s skin and live there, how when he’s not with Shiro it feels like he’s missing a vital organ, but for the first time, as he lets himself be held by Shiro, he thinks Shiro might understand, might be similarly compromised. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! <3


	4. part iv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i assume if you've gotten this far in the story, you probably won't care, but i have played with a few canon things outside of the epilogue just for narrative convenience.

Altea is a lush, beautiful planet with flowers and greenery growing on nearly every inch of available land, all magical in their alien nature. Keith feels closer to Allura every day they spend on Altea, even though she’s been gone for well over a year now. In many ways, Altea is the complete opposite of the part of Earth he grew up in and although Keith misses the desert, the mountains and flowers of Altea bring a different kind of peace.

Kosmo is delighted by Altea - probably just happy to stretch his legs everyday after so long crammed into the Black Lion with just Keith to keep him company, if Keith's being honest. The wolf is unwaveringly loyal and constant, but obviously delights in the other paladins showering attention on him.

Keith tries hard not to brace himself for the imminent disappointment of the others leaving.

Except. Days pass and no one makes any noise about leaving at all. Shiro sleeps curled around him at night and the other paladins latch onto him during the day, pulling him into projects and trouble alike. It feels…good. Normal, even.

It puts Keith on edge.

He takes to walking alone into the fields more and more, only Kosmo by his side. He's itching to get back into the sky, but he also knows that Shiro wants to stay here for a while and spend time with Coran and the others in peace. Being honest again, Keith doesn’t mind that part either, especially after his rough week in captivity even though the healing pod had done its work well.

One late afternoon, Shiro joins him for his walk and they're almost an hour into the hike, watching Kosmo rip gleefully into the carcass of some small woodland animal, before he finally speaks.

"Sometimes, I think you're just as much a wild animal as he is," he says, looking out at Kosmo instead of Keith.

"Yeah?"

Shiro hums and leans on a tree with one shoulder.

Keith crosses his arms and whistles to the wolf, who looks offended at the summons but pops over to his side a moment later. Keith wrinkles his nose at the entrails dripping from Kosmo's maw and turns back to the trail, setting off again.

Shiro follows.

"We've all done our best to tame you," Shiro continues thoughtfully. "But I'm still a little worried you're going to take off in the middle of the night to go howl at the moon or something."

"Which moon?" Keith asks dryly.

Shiro gives him a sideways smile, but his eyes are still serious.

Keith squints at the bright sky above them and sighs.

"I'm not going anywhere without you," Keith says. He's pretty sure that's what Shiro wants to hear, and besides, it's true. He would never fly again if it meant having Shiro with him.

Shiro's smile twists and he reaches over to grip the back of Keith's neck, his fingers gentle but firm as they rub into the skin and stop Keith in his tracks.

"Good to hear," Shiro says softly. "The other paladins are waiting for you to make a decision, you know."

Keith frowns at him.

"What decision?" he asks. "They're all free to leave."

Shiro's fingers tug at his long hair for a moment before his hand falls away.

"Okay," Shiro sighs and Keith can feel the disappointment, although he doesn't understand where it's coming from. It's stupid to expect the paladins to stay out here in space, so far from home. If they wanted to stay, they could easily find work with the Voltron Coalition, but none of them had made any noise about searching out an assignment from them. Not that Keith had reached out yet to their old allies yet either. Maybe he’s not the only one feeling a little stuck, but not yet ready to move on.

Shiro takes his hand and squeezes.

Keith offers up his best smile and pulls Shiro closer, stealing a kiss before disentangling himself and walking on.

  


* * *

 

  


When they get back to the palace, the quiet hum of an evening well underway washes over them. They had eaten while out on the hike from the sandwiches Shiro had brought in his pack, so instead of going to the noisy dining hall, they disappear into the room they've been sharing since their return. Keith has his own room assigned somewhere across the building, the bed unmade and unslept in, but he hasn't been back to it since the Alteans had first shown him it.

Kosmo makes himself scarce as soon as they reach the grounds, probably to beg more food off of Hunk even though he'd been fed, so Keith finds himself alone with Shiro as they wind down for the day. Keith watches quietly as Shiro washes up, a well-worn routine that Keith has seen hundreds of times over the years, but now feels more intimate somehow.

Shiro catches his eye in the mirror and smiles as he finishes up.

"What?" he asks quietly.

"Nothing," Keith says, averting his eyes.

Shiro puts away his things and crosses the room to where Keith is sitting crosslegged on the bed. He brushes Keith's hair off of his forehead and leans down to kiss him there. Keith tips his head back to give Shiro better access to his lips, hungry for more. They'd been careful with boundaries so far, neither daring to toe much farther past kissing and whispered affection when they were still on the small ship full of friends and other crew members, but the need for more had been steadily boiling over for days now that they were back on Altea with room to breathe.

Keith lets a beat of silence settle between them before tugging at the hem of Shiro’s shirt.

"Take this off," Keith orders softly, sounding far more sure than his shaking hands betrayed.

Shiro hesitates as he pulls back and then says, "Yeah?"

Keith nods and pulls the shirt halfway up before letting Shiro take over.  

Shiro smiles at his sudden urgency, a laugh obviously on the verge of spilling out, but he complies. He folds the shirt neatly while Keith watches his muscles work beneath his skin. He turns back to Keith with an eyebrow quirked, inviting the next command.

Keith fidgets for a minute before standing up to kiss Shiro more deliberately, his lips slow and searching. Shiro melts readily into the kiss, letting Keith's hands run over the defined muscles of his stomach like it's all he's been waiting for. Keith gently pushes on Shiro's shoulders until his knees hit the bed and he lowers himself down to sitting. Keith follows, climbing onto Shiro's lap, with one leg on either side. From his knees, Keith looks down at Shiro and rests his own shaking hands on Shiro's face, his thumb tracing alone the broad edge of the scar that splits Shiro's face.

Shiro watches him patiently, only moving to loosely curl his arms around Keith's waist. His eyes are dark and lidded as he looks at Keith and Keith is keenly aware of his inexperience, the way his hands shake, his obvious hesitation as he slides his hands down Shiro's chest, but Shiro is quiet, letting Keith take his time.

Keith hasn’t been hard long, but it's already almost an ache in his groin, and as his hands drift lower on Shiro, he finds a matching hardness in Shiro's pants. His hand palms Shiro's erection gently through his pants and it elicits the first small groan from Shiro. Keith looks up in surprise at the clear desire and Shiro meets him with a searing kiss.

"Tell me what you're thinking," Shiro says as he pulls back, his lips still so close that Keith can feel the words.

It sends a shiver down his spine and Keith feels caught in Shiro’s space, breathing the same air as he tries to think of something to say that isn’t complete nonsense.

Shiro's prosthetic hand gently slips under Keith's loose t-shirt and pulls it up and over his head in one graceful motion. Keith can feel the heat in his face and is too embarrassed to look down to see if it's spread to his chest. Shiro's hands mirror Keith's movements from before, sliding up and down his chest, exploring the open skin as if he'd never touched Keith before. Keith falls forward into the crook of Shiro's neck, letting his lips kiss along his collarbone before answering.

"I'm thinking…" Keith says softly, but then doesn't know how to continue. Instead he kisses his way up to Shiro's mouth, trying to express his feelings through physical touch instead of words, hoping they would make more sense than the jumbled mess in his head. He grinds their hips together and Shiro makes another soft groan that Keith wants to swallow whole.

Shiro's hands feel huge as they spread out on Keith's rib cage, the cool touch of the prosthetic warming quickly against Keith's skin. They drift together, rocking against each other as Keith thoroughly explores Shiro's mouth, biting his lips and then smoothing it with his tongue. Shiro matches his every move with an enthusiasm that he's clearly been reigning in as he waited for Keith to get on the same page as him over the past couple of weeks. He scoots backwards on the bed and drags Keith down with him until Keith falls forward the rest of the way, his full weight pressing against Shiro's body.

Keith pulls himself up on his elbows and looks down at Shiro beneath him.

Shiro smiles back and one of his hands cups Keith's neck. His fingers play with Keith's hair as Keith takes his time admiring him. Shiro is all muscle, broad and thick, his skin marked with scars that are mostly long-healed. Keith presses his fingers into the pale, knotted skin of one that stretches across Shiro’s stomach. Keith has plenty of his own scars and he wasn’t sentimental about them, but something about seeing Shiro now, vulnerable and open, waiting for Keith to look his fill, struck at something deep in Keith.

"Okay?" Shiro asks quietly after a long time.

Keith nods. His throat feels thick, but he swallows quickly before kissing Shiro again.

Shiro sighs against his lips, his hand burying itself in Keith's hair more fully. He gently nudges Keith to drop his weight again and Keith lowers himself more carefully this time. When his hips line up with Shiro's and he grinds against Shiro's lap again, Keith can't help the strangled sound he lets out. He closes his eyes as Shiro presses his hips up, guiding Keith's hips against his and chasing the friction between them.

"I didn't…ah…come prepared for this," Shiro says.

It takes a long minute for Keith to even process the words and his face must convey his confusion because Shiro squeezes his bicep.

"I just mean I don't have any lube, so we might be limited in options," he admits with a small blush. Keith colors as well. He hadn't even thought of that. "Unless you have some?"

"No," Keith says with a shake of his head.

Shiro squeezes his bicep again and lunges up to steal a kiss from Keith.

"I'm sure we can find a way to work around it," Shiro says with a soft laugh. "If I recall correctly, you were a very creative cadet."

Keith laughs against Shiro's mouth and shoves him away playfully.

"I'll give you creative," he mutters.

Shiro shoves back and Keith is suddenly engaged in an all-out wrestling match that has him pinned beneath Shiro in only a few seconds. In any other setting, Keith would have been fuming at the quick defeat, but now, his body just pulses with heat and excitement. Shiro is breathing hard above him, obviously similarly affected.

"Hey," Keith says with a nod of his chin since Shiro still has his hands pinned securely. "Take off your pants."

Shiro melts into a smile, but doesn't let go of his grip of Keith's wrists.

"Oh?" he asks. "I thought winner gets to dictate the spoils."

"Fine," Keith challenges. "Take off my pants."

Shiro laughs, loud and clear, and it shoots straight through Keith, a lance of pure joy. Shiro leans down to kiss Keith soundly before letting go of him and swinging off the bed all in one smooth motion. Before Keith can complain, Shiro is shedding his pants and boxers quickly, not bothering to fold them.

Keith is too busy watching him strip to think about his own pants, even though they are uncomfortable and tight. He can feel the wet, sticky precum already making his skin tacky and his boxers rough against his skin. Shiro turns back to him and Keith is struck dumb at the sight of his dick, fully flushed and hard against his stomach. He'd seen Shiro's dick before, of course, but always in passing and never fully erect like this, because of him.

Shiro climbs back in bed and Keith moves over to make room for him, so that when Shiro is settled, he can roll onto his side and kiss Shiro as their skin slides together. Keith shivers at every contact, his cock so sensitive that it twitches against his stomach with almost every movement. He pushes himself up so he can straddle Shiro again. Shiro makes a small noise of want when Keith settles on top of him. Keith swallows heavily as he looks down at Shiro, struck by how beautiful he is all over again.

He quickly slides down to kiss Shiro's mouth and then starts to make his way down Shiro's chest, letting his tongue taste and feel its way down Shiro's body and using Shiro's increasingly quick breaths as a guide. When Keith moves himself down so that his mouth can easily reach Shiro's dick, he pauses and licks his lips, looking up at Shiro, who is looking back at him with such open desire that Keith is almost taken aback by the ferocity of it. He reaches out to run a single finger up the length of Shiro's cock and Shiro's eyes slide shut as he huffs out something halfway between a moan and a laugh.

"Keith," he says, pleading and playful all at once.

"You have to tell me if I do it wrong," Keith says.

"You won't," Shiro promises.

Keith flicks Shiro's thigh and elicits something that's definitely more laugh than moan this time, but before Shiro can say anything else, Keith leans down and licks a stripe up his dick and Shiro's laugh turns guttural.

"Fuck," Shiro swears as Keith gently pulls the foreskin down and takes as much of Shiro into his mouth as he can. Shiro's dick is velvet against Keith's tongue and he can't help lapping his tongue on the head, catching the salty precum there on his tongue. Shiro's breath is shaky now and Keith takes it as encouragement to keep going, taking more into his mouth with every bob of his head. He chokes around it and pulls back to take a breath.

Shiro's thumb traces along the edge of his lips as Keith takes a moment to breathe and continues stroking Shiro through it.

"Careful," Shiro says, a smirk still playing on his face.

Keith flicks him again, but then uses his tongue to soothe the small red mark on Shiro's thigh while his hand still slowly pumps Shiro's dick.

Shiro sits up on his one elbow and his prosthetic fingers find the back of Keith's head. Keith looks up at him and Shiro's fingers, warm and not-quite human, run up and down his neck. Shiro’s smile is soft now, almost blurred around the edges, as Keith takes the tip of his cock in his mouth again, sucking more carefully this time and using his hand at the base. Keith’s spit drips down from his open mouth and pools on his fingers where he uses it to smooth the glide of his hand on Shiro. Shiro throws his head back at that, breaking their eye contact with a long groan, his fingers gripping Keith’s hair tightly.

Keith alternates between his hand and mouth, his spit and the leaking precum from Shiro's cock making a mess but Shiro's increasingly labored breathing and flushed skin are all the encouragement Keith needs even if he's mostly playing it by touch.

"Won't last much longer," Shiro mumbles, his fingers still pulling at Keith’s hair insistently and his other hand thrown over his face.

Keith groans around Shiro's dick, shifting his own hips against the bed. He wants to cry at how turned on he is just by sucking off Shiro. He isn't even sure he can hold out long enough for Shiro to even actually touch him, he might just come by the rub of sheets on his over-sensitive dick alone.

Shiro comes a moment later, his cum salty and thick as spills into Keith's mouth. Keith swallows as much as can before the rest drips onto his chin and Shiro's stomach as he pulls Shiro through the orgasm. Shiro collapses back completely into the sheets, pulling Keith up by the back of neck until their mouths meet clumsily. Keith can’t help the soft whine that escapes him as his dick brushes against Shiro's slick, sweaty stomach and Shiro kisses him thoroughly before reaching between them to adjust Keith to a better angle. His strong hand then grasps onto Keith's butt and guides him into a steady rocking movement against him.

"Shiro," Keith breathes. His mind is already sparking, fizzing with the edges of a long-delayed orgasm. Shiro finds his mouth again and their lips slide against each other, sharing the taste of cum between them as Keith frantically ruts against Shiro's abs. When he comes, everything goes white for a minute as he rides out the last few thrusts and then freezes above Shiro, trying to catch his breath.

Shiro doesn't stop kissing him, his lips wandering to every inch of skin he can reach while Keith slowly regains brain function and slides off of Shiro to collapse to the side of him into the sweaty sheets. Shiro nudges him a little further over and then swings himself up.

Keith watches silently as he goes into the small bathroom and grabs a wash cloth before wiping himself down carefully, rinsing the cloth and bringing it to where Keith is still sunken in the bed. He gently wipes Keith clean and then kisses the tip of Keith's dick and taps the side of Keith's thigh to indicate he’s done.

Keith smiles down at him, still feeling a little dazed.

Shiro drops the washcloth and climbs into bed with Keith, pulling the sheets over them and then cuddling close to Keith. Keith lets himself be arranged to Shiro's liking, chest to chest and legs entangled. Shiro kisses his forehead, nose, cheeks, lips and Keith sighs into the affection.

"I love you," Shiro says quietly against his skin, punctuating with more kisses.

Keith opens his eyes to look directly into Shiro's and he cups Shiro's face with one hand.

"I know," Keith says. "I love you too."

 

* * *

 

  
  


Shiro has always been tactile, but now, it feels like he's never not touching Keith. If his hand isn't resting casually on Keith's shoulder, it's gently playing at the nape of his neck or resting on his knee under the table. Keith knows that the other paladins have noticed the new closeness between them, but none of them have been brave enough to challenge either of them yet, which is fine with Keith. By the way Shiro's lips twitch into a smirk every time Lance gapes at them, Shiro is enjoying the moment too.

It's strange, at first, how nothing much changes in Keith's day-to-day life even though he feels full of the newness, a raw giddiness that meets him at every turn. There's plenty to keep him busy as the Alteans work to restore their society together and Keith begins to communicate with the Coalition members to figure out where he and Shiro might be needed most. The Coalition is less scattered now that the war is over, concentrated mainly on Altea, Daibazaal, and Earth, but there is plenty of re-building and relationship building work to be done across the universe that the current Coalition can't attend to yet. He's bent over a map making notes when Shiro comes to find him and announce that Hunk is about ready to leave for his trip to the Balmera, which Shiro has promised to accompany him on.

"Going to come see me off?" Shiro asks from where he's leaning in the doorway, flight bag slung over his shoulder. It's a sight that brings back painful echoes of the past for a split second before dissolving into the present for Keith.

"Of course," Keith says as he rises, stretching his arms above his head and moving his neck around to shake out the kinks of a long day spent pondering tiny maps.

Shiro doesn't move from the door when Keith walks over with the intent of following him out and instead pulls Keith close for a hug, his lips barely whispering a kiss on his ear. Keith grabs Shiro's arm to hold him there for a moment, savoring what would probably be their last private moment together for a few weeks. Shiro hums in contentment and softly pets Keith's long hair which he's pulled back in a low ponytail.

"You're gonna be late," Keith mumbles, although not very convincingly.

Shiro laughs and jostles Keith a bit.

"And who's fault will that be?"

Keith shoves him back and they both spill into the hallway, the bedroom door sliding shut automatically behind them. Shiro takes his hand, winding their fingers together, as they make their way to the hangar where the Lions are all stored for now. It's a big hangar, white and tall and full of strange Altean devices that Keith will never fully understand. It has room for the Lions five times over, especially with the Blue Lion now gone, lost with Allura.

Hunk's Yellow Lion is buzzing with an energy that Keith can feel as soon as they step into the enclosed space and he's so wrapped up in the feeling that he almost misses the huge silver and black ship that has been parked in the hangar since he'd been there last, only a few days before.

Except it's impossible to miss, really.

Keith stops in his tracks and Shiro, who doesn't immediately notice, is pulled to a stop by their linked hands. Keith gapes at the ship. He feels a little like he's seeing a ghost - it's somewhat reminiscent of the Castle of Lions, although sleeker, smaller and in chrome. It even has a huge insignia on the side of it that Coran had branded Voltron with back in the days of their lives shows and early recruitment. He looks to Shiro, who is smiling back at him, completely unbothered by the ship.

"What's going on?" Keith asks.

"Come on," Shiro says, nodding down to where the rest of the paladins were gathered in a small cluster around the Yellow Lion's left paw. They haven't seen Shiro and Keith yet, still talking animatedly together as Shiro leads Keith down the stairs and onto the main floor.

Pidge spots them first and waves at Lance and Hunk to be quiet as they approach. It's clear by now that they're all waiting on Keith's reaction and are somehow all in on this knowledge of the new Castle, even Shiro, who looks far too smug at Keith's obvious shock.

Keith scowls at him before letting go of his hand and crossing his arms. He addresses his team first.

"What's all this?" Keith asks, gesturing at the new ship.

"We got tired of waiting around for you to ask," Pidge says.

"I — what?" Keith stumbles over his words and gestures at the ship again with incredulity.

Pidge rolls her eyes theatrically and throws her arms up.

"You explain," she says, pointing to Shiro. "I can't deal with him when he's like this."

Shiro unsuccessfully tries to cover his laugh and Keith directs his scowl back at him.

Keith crosses his arms and looks back to the newly painted ship.

"Keith," Shiro starts, clearing his throat. "I think what Pidge is _trying_ to say is that we're all ready to get back out there and do our part in the re-building. Voltron is a part of that and besides, we've always been better when we're all together."

Hunk is nodding and Keith sees Lance wipe his eyes, although he's not sure if the tears are genuine or joking. He looks to each of the team members in turn and then to the ship, feeling like he’s missing something.

"But you all wanted to go back to Earth and be with your families again," Keith says.

"Keith, buddy," Lance says, throwing an arm around his shoulders. "We went, we saw, the universe is no longer depending on us to save it every five minutes."

"We can also just schedule regular trips back to Earth, dumbass," Pidge contributes.

"And Altea since Coran can't always come with us anymore," Lance says.

"And Daibazaal," Shiro adds softly. "To your mother."

The paladins are all looking back to him with near-identical smirks of satisfaction now. Keith clears his throat, shakes off Lance’s arm from his shoulders, and paces forward until he can rest a hand on the low-hanging belly of the ship, his hand smoothing along the impossibly glossy chrome of the exterior, tracing the outer edge of the huge 'V' painted on the side. He smiles at the paint, blinking away the embarrassing tears before he turns back around to face his team.

"So, we're back in commission, huh?" Keith confirms. He can’t quite believe the enormity of the surprise, but there’s no doubting it’s real.

Hunk grins hugely at him and hugs him so hard that Keith is pretty sure he hears his back pop. Everyone else piles in as well and soon Keith is consumed on all sides by his team, cheering and hugging. They're still a connected blob of human when Lance speaks.

"We won't be able to form Voltron without the Blue Lion," he says softly. The cheering from Hunk and Pidge immediately quiets and they all grow somber. "Coran and I…we've been trying to find her for months. Thought maybe…maybe it had somehow retained her essence, like the Black Lion did with Shiro, but we never came up with any good leads."

Keith grasps Lance's shoulder tightly as everyone else falls away from them. Keith isn't sure why he never thought of this as the reason that Lance would be lingering on Altea instead of returning to Earth for good, but it feels obvious now that Lance has said it out loud. By the looks on the other paladins' faces, it comes as a surprise to them too.

"We won't stop looking, Lance," Keith says.

"Never," Hunk swears. "She's got to be out there and with all of us together again, maybe we can come up with a new method to track the Blue Lion."

Lance's tears are real this time. Keith hugs him briefly before letting go and wiping at his own eyes with a surprised laugh.

"I can't believe you guys hid this from me," Keith says, turning back to the new Castle. "How long has this been going on?"

The paladins all exchange a guilty glance until Shiro steps forward again, resting a hand on Keith's shoulder.

"It was my suggestion, months ago, before I decided to resign even," he explains. "Pidge and Hunk put in a lot of the legwork, working with some of the Altean engineers to build it from parts salvaged from some other ships and some parts made new. Lance was here as well, overseeing things and helping with navigation and flying."

Keith's throat is thick with tears and he looks away quickly.

"You could have told me," Keith insists. "I could have helped."

"We wanted you to be ready to come back, too, buddy," Hunk says.

Keith nods furiously and swipes at his eyes. He looks at the beautiful new ship and imagines flying in it, Shiro manning the helm while the Lions are free to roam together. He exhales loudly and puts both hands on his hips, stepping close into Shiro's side. Shiro's hand slips from his shoulder to his hip, drawing him in.

"So, did you guys want company on your trip to Balmera?" Keith asks after he’s collected himself again.

"Finally!" Pidge says drily, punching him on the arm. "We thought you'd never ask."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to cloudy whom this story is for. sorry it's only 20,000 words instead of the promised 40,000. hubris.
> 
> thanks to the sheith discord for indulging my need to know how they explain space lube. I ended up throwing out the 700 words or so where Shiro acquires space lube because it was way too silly for this story, but maybe it'll end up somewhere else. >_<
> 
> and finally, thanks to you, reader!!! the feedback on this story has been really thoughtful and so great to read - if you made it to the end, I'd love to hear your thoughts and feelings. <3


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